Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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