whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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