He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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