he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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