We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize