At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
