Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
