I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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