well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
