I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
