If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
