what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
