I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
do nipples grow back?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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