Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
