why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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