Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
