In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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