she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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