This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
