the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
