I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
