I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
