What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
