3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
