Soap is not a condiment
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
