That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
