I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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