She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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