so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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