She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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