Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
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Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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