I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
