Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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