I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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