She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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