They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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