At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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