Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
