Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize