I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
