So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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