Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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