So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
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I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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