Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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