i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
