She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
