carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
