operation harelip BJ is a go
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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