Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
