Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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