Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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