Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
