Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
