i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
